The Dilemma is Whether Or Not To Stay For The Entire Film!

The Dilemma (2011)

• Starring: Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Winona Ryder, Jennifer Connelly, Channing Tatum, Queen Latifah
• Director: Ron Howard

What was Ron Howard thinking?   Couldn't he see that to make or not make the movie WAS The Dilemma?  I can't imagine reading this unimaginative script and saying to myself "Gee, this is a clever and creative movie which I feel compelled to make".  Of  course, Ron Howard hasn't been as stellar with his last few releases (DaVinci Code, Angels and Demons) as he was some years back, and I'm sure he doesn't need the money....so why?  Inquiring minds want to know.

The Dilemma is a buddy dramedy about business partners and long-time friends Ronny (Vince Vaughn) and Nick (Kevin James).  Ronny accidentally witnesses Nick's wife Geneva (Winona Ryder) cheating with a younger man, and the whole rest of the movie is about his difficulty in telling Nick about his wife's infidelity.  We, the audience, are practically screaming out loud "Just Tell Him".  But Ronny doesn't because a) him and Nick have just entered into a stressful major development deal with a car manufacturer, b) Nick already has ulcers and c) Nick keeps sidelining and distracting Ronny with reprimands for not proposing to his girlfriend Beth (Jennifer Connelly).  

So many things feel ackward in The Dilemma.   Like, Ronny and Nick having hot women!  .....not likely.   Ronny plays amateur sleuth, investigating what's really going on in Geneva and Nick's private lives, even shadowing Nick on trains and through shadowy streets.  And Ronny has this past gambling addiction.....a poor script band-aid to explain away so much strange behavior, right?  Queen Latifah is their liaison for the car company and all she talks about is sporting "Lady Wood" at every turn.  Channing Tatum is the young man with whom Geneva is cheating, and although he does a commendable job with this small but whacky role, nothing he does makes sense either.  And when are Vince Vaughn and Kevin James going to bring us different characters than their one-note Charlies?

When things have finally gotten so weird that both the movie characters and the studio audience are uncomfortable, the truth comes out, and things just get worse and worse.  And by now we wish we had left 50 minutes ago while we still had our dignity.  If asked to see this movie, just say "no"...that's what I'm saying. 

It Stinks (A horrible waste of time )

Seasonings of the Witch....Recipes for a Medieval BBQ?

SEASON OF THE WITCH (2011)

• Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Stephen Campbell Moore, Ulrich Thomsen, Stephen Graham, Christopher Lee, Claire Foy
• Director: Dominic Sena

How long will it be before Nicolas Cage fans wake up and realize he is only doing it for the money?  Or til Nic picks better projects for himself?  Not that he overacted, looked overly concerned or postured any more than usual in this medieval religious occult supernatural adventure feature.  But maybe Season of The Witch should have been a direct to DVD release....and I'm sure if they had not spent so much money it would have been.  

Starts off exciting enough; some witches are hung and then drowned in the river while the priest attempts to recite some latin poetry that would quiet their witchy souls forever.   Until one of them magically leaps up and the games begin.  

Flash forward to an almost humerous montage of Nicolas and sidekick Ron Perlman as 14th century knights on the holy crusade.  They 'Rambo' and 'Terminator' the 'infidels' and then always end up drinking and womanizing in the pubs, as all good Christians should do after a hard day's killing, right?.  That is until they suddenly, like, after 12 years, get a conscience and split, defect, run away, quit that old Church's army.  

Sneaking back into old England back then wasn't as easy as one might think and the two are busted in town, in a stable of all places, and coerced by the Church to go on a dangerous mission (hey, they had a choice..... mission or die by hanging and/or burning).  They are enlisted to escort a young woman (Claire Foy), suspected of being a witch and for bringing the Plague to Europe, to a church 6 days hard journey away where she is to get a fair trial.  Yeah, right....fair trial for the Plague-causer.


Christopher Lee has a cameo as the Cardinal 'plagued' by the disease himself, with grossly disfigured face, who dispenses of the two deserters on their mission of doom.

The rest of the movie is just basically an anti-climatic mediocre medieval road trip; not even near as entertaining as Shrek and Donkey on the road.  Stupid stuff keeps happening, like a pack of wolves, dead bodies in pits, and a couple of the crew die.  Duh!


We are hoping to see some type of redemption in Nicolas Cage.  But, alas, not even the momentary appearance of (SPOILER ALERT!) a demon, who looks like he came out of the movie Alien, dispelling the notion that the girl was a witch, but validating that there is good and evil, does anything to bring Nicolas back closer to God or the church before he meets his end (Hey, I said SPOILER ALERT didn't I?).

Let's just say a few Ron Perlman one-liners keep us awake, but some so-so CG effects and no get-up-and-go leave us wishing we could have our 2 hours back.  Or see this movie burn at the stake.

Loaf of Bread: a so-so mediocre movie

No Bounty Hunter would chase down this film

BOUNTY HUNTER

Director:  Andy Tennant

Writer:   Sarah Thorp

Nicole Hurley: Jennifer Aniston

Milo Boyd:  Gerard Butler

All things seemed ready for lift-off with this Action Romantic Comedy about an ex-cop bounty hunter Milo Boyd (Gerard Butler) who gleefully must bring in his ex-wife newspaper reporter Nicole Hurley (Jennifer Aniston) for jumping bail.   Two major box-office name brands, a cute premise and a successful, veteran RomCom director/writer (Fool's Gold, Hitch and Sweet Home Alabama).  But no blast off.  Not for me, and not for the rest of the audience in the theater.  Not that we hated it.....it was just flat.

Nicole has been covering local parking ticket issues when she notices a few inconsistencies with a suicide (police Depository worker) and a parking ticket, and she starts investigating for a career-making expose.  Milo Boyd, who is in deep gambling debt after his divorce, needs the dough...and the revenge against his ex.  Nicole is dead-set on uncovering the details of this story, which may even involve a cop who walked them down the aisle.  But Milo is so intent on getting back at his ex that we start to wonder if he ever WAS a cop, or if so, a decent cop.  And we start to sympathize with Nicole, and wonder how someone so sharp could have married someone so "damaged" in the first place.

There is a decent amount of chemistry between the two (who I think started dating while making this film), and they both look exceptionally fit and sexy, but something is missing and they fail to create fire, or laughs, when they should.  Thank God they brought in side comics like Jeff Garlin and Christine Baranski for some much-needed levity, but even they couldn't float the movie out of bland soupy stew.  Wait for this one on DVD.

Say "I Do" to Our Family Wedding

Writers:  Wayne Conley, Malcolm Spellman and Rick Famuyiwa

Writer:

OUR FAMILY WEDDING

Director:  Rick Famuyiwa

Writers:  Wayne Conley, Malcolm Spellman, Rick Famuyiwa

Lucia Ramirez:  America Ferrera
Marcus Boyd:  Lance Gross
Brad Boyd:  Forest Whitaker
Miguel Ramirez:  Carlos Mencia
Angela:  Regina King

I saw the trailer for this movie about 5 times, and the urge to jilt  this over-the-top zany multi-cultural-bride-and-groom family-not-into-the-wedding RomCom was overwhelmingly irresistible.  But as fate would have it I showed up at the theater thinking I was seeing the new version of the overtop comedy Death at a Funeral, only to find out that Our Family Wedding was playing, and that I had made an obvious error (Wedding = Funeral :)

So I decided to make the best of it and check it out, even though I had heard less than stellar mumblings about this movie.  But then again, I am "Jane Public", not some Harvard trained journalist looking to grammatically and sociologically lambast a movie.  What I look at for a comedy is the enjoyment factor (i.e. laughs per minute).  And I have to say that this movie definitely delivered, even if it was always with a tongue in cheek, cheezy, over-the-top, stereotypical methodology.  But isn't that what always scored big at the box office?....the no-brainer, bring it to me in-the-most-obvious-fashion movies?

The story is based on a mixed couple, Lucia (America Ferrara) and Marcus (Lance Gross), coming home to tell their respective families that they are getting married.  Lucia is Latina and Marcus is African American, so we already know that this movie wouldn't be getting made if it wasn't going to be fireworks, right?  Unfortunately, Lucia's father Miguel (Carlos Mencia), who owns a garage,  and Marcus's father Brad (Forrest Whitaker), a popular radio DJ, have already met earlier that day as Miguel tows Brads illegally parked, expensive sports car, with accompanying name-calling like Cuz and Bro.  Some may call this a step backwards, but the theater I sat in, filled with a mixed ethnicity, laughed hysterically at every twist and turn, as the obvious stereotypes were displayed.....for exactly the purpose of laughing at, at seeing how ridiculous (and sometimes true) they are.

Both families are at odds with things, as simultaneously Lucia's mother is going through a marriage identity crisis, Lucia and Marcus have secrets that they need to reveal, old Grandma is stirring up trouble, Brad is realizing that he can't have relationships with both his attorney and every young chippie in the city and alot of "who is the wedding really for?" issues are occurring.

Not a Pulitzer prize winning script for sure, but all of these concocted we've-seen-it-before things are mixed and ground like a Mojito into a concoction that you can't help but laugh at.  Good for a chuckle, and a sound sleep at night knowing that this is one mixed up world, but if we would just stand back and enjoy, it will all work itself out.

She's Out Of Your League, but you'll want to play on her team!

SHE'S OUT 
OF 

MY LEAGUE

Director: Jim Field Smith

Writers: Sean Anders and John Morris

Kirk:  Jay Baruchel

Molly:  Alice Eve

Stainer:  TJ Miller

Devon:  Nate Torrence

Dylan:  Kyle Bornheimer

Patty:  Krysten Ritter

Marnie:  Lindsay Sloane

                                      

What happens when a perfect 10 hot chick gets burned by a series of perfect 10 hot dudes?   She rationalizes that an average guy won't hurt her so badly (and will probably heap on an extra helping of gratitude).   

And so we meet Molly (Alice Eve), a drop-dead gorgeous unassuming event planner (with a minor "secret"), who is being delayed at the airport security checkpoint by every drooling red-blooded male employee.  Step in Kirk (Jay Baruchel), a klutzy, nerdy, oh-so-average TSA agent who assists our damsel in distress to her plane so she won't miss it.  Once on board and with her best friend Patty (played very skillfully by Krystan Ritter) she realizes she left her iPhone (clever product placement Apple!) back at security, and who should happen to find it but Kirk, who obligates himself to bring it to her at an in-town event she is running the next evening.  And from there an unexpected romance blossoms.

Kirk's friends Stainer, Dylan and Devon spend most of the entire movie convincing Kirk (a "5" on the generous side) that he is not worthy of any woman rating more than a "7", so of course this thing with Molly won't last.  And then his entire middle-class-but- "trailer-park" family, including his ex-girlfriend Marnie (the very funny Lyndsay Sloane), keeps reminding him how undeserving he is of pretty much anyone except for the wacko work-colleague Marnie, who gets treated more like one of the family than Kirk and is now dating a friend of the family.


Everyone in this movie just loves to feed off of Kirk's fragile self-esteem, and it takes a huge act of faith for Kirk to find his cojones and hold on to the girl.

There were so many wonderfully cast actors and actresses in this ensemble, I can't mention them all here, but this cute and cleverly crafted date-night movie was heartwarming and endearing....and so much better than I thought it would be.  It is hard for writers to tread the same ground over and over and each time come up with something new and clever, but writers Sean Anders and John Morris managed to do it.  Adorable.

Repo Men - not for the faint of Heart

REPO MEN

Directed by Miguel Sapochnik
Screenplay by Eric Garcia, Garrett Lerner
Based on the novel The Repossession Mambo by Eric Garcia

Remy – Jude Law
Jake – Forest Whitaker
Frank – Liev Schreiber
Beth – Alice Braga
Carol – Carice van Houten

The trailer for repo men promises a wild ride buddy action adventure based on two aggressive Repo Men who work for an "evil" organization called Union, which specializes in providing mechanical transplants for all sorts of vital organs and joints.   These two dissection specialists are hired to repossess these extremely expensive devices when the recipient is more than 96 days delinquent on the payments, and they do it with a bloodthirsty lust that made me glad I had skipped the medium rare hamburger before I went!  

Remy (Jude Law) and Jake (Forest Whitaker) are the Repo Men, and the movie telegraphs a little too much about their long camaraderie starting back in the military, Remy's interest in a young bar singer and more obvious portends of things to come.  Hey, what about just showing the simple rapport  between the married Remy and the uber-single Jake that should speak for itself?   The first half of the movie plods along a little as we have to see how Remy messes up his marriage and gets the boot at home, how he is a little bit of a mensch compared to Jake, how their boss Frank (Liev Schreiber) is even more ruthless and coldhearted than they are.... and a lot of hacking of body parts.

Around page 55 Jude gets injured due to faulty work equipment and (SPOILER ALERT!!!) receives one of the transplanted vital organs (yes, you guessed it....his heart).  And now, not only is he in debt for hundreds of thousands of dollars, but he has lost his taste for the hunt and kill.  

At this very important juncture, and considering what a litigious society we live in, I couldn't figure out why Union wasn't responsible for the cost of his vital organ.  What happens in this future society to workman's compensation?????  Can someone please explain, because the movie sure didn't!  And because of the company's seeming lack of liability (which is never even brought up to be denied), Remy, who clearly can't afford his new heart, is on the run for his own life from the very butchers he used to work with and serve gleefully.

And, of course, along the way he picks up a chick (you guessed it, the full-of-fake-organs singer from the bar) and decides that they have to destroy Union, or at least get themselves out of the system that is housed behind a pink door.

There is so much more to this movie, and the last third veers in many unexpected ways that you will not lack for a wild ride and a satisfactory conclusion, nor will you curse me for spoiling anything....I hope.

Didn't zone out during Green Zone

GREEN ZONE

Directed by Paul Greengrass
Screenplay by Brian Helgeland
Based on the book "Imperial Life in the Emerald City: Inside Iraq's Green Zone" by Rajiv Chandrasekaran

Roy Miller – Matt Damon
Martin Brown – Brendan Gleeson
Clark Poundstone – Greg Kinnear
Freddie – Khalid Abdallah 

Yesterday was a "green" day or better known as St. Patty's Day, another excuse to drink green beer and pretend to talk with an Irish accent.

Well, I had some time to kill before my friend's Celtic band played last night so I decided to slip into the theater for Green Zone, Matt Damon's latest action adventure.  Written by Brian Helgeland (based on Rajiv Chandrasekaran's book "Imperial Life in the Emerald City: Inside Iraq's Green Zone") and directed by Paul Greengrass, Damon plays Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller, a very committed army man who uncovers the truth about Weapons of Mass Destruction (or lack of) in Baghdad .  In his quest to uncover the truth we see Greengrass spin the suspense and blurring excitement that he is know for in The Bourne series (2004 and 2007).

The plot is driven by the conflict of good and evil, only this time the "evil" is a blundering, self-serving head of state played by Greg Kinnear, as well as the unseen Iraqi faction.  The "good" is CIA chief Martin Brown, played skillfully, but with a wavering American accent, by Brendan Gleeson.  Also of note was the wonderful performance by Khalid Abdallah as an Iraqi local who calls himself Freddie, unwittingly shanghaied into interpreting for Lt. Miller during the bulk of the movie.

The characters are a little broad and it could be argued that we are Iraq war movied to death, but the fact that the war is still ongoing without end in sight, and the revealing plot behind this movie should be another jolt to wake up even the most apathetic American to wondering why we are really there at all, and how distrustful we have rightfully become of our own government here in the most "free" country in the world.  It all plays out, as does our real involvement in world affair and warfare, a little too much like Wag The Dog (1997).

This movie kept my attention throughout, and although average fare for a war movie, hit just a little too close for home....just coming out a little too late maybe for anyone to care or take notice.   The "why" we have again escalated the war in Afghanistan is the subject for a whole other movie....which might just come out in a timely fashion like this movie, in 2016.... 7 years after we need to know the truth.  Oh yeah, I forgot..... you can't handle the truth!